


Shepard one-shots and shenanigans

by GreatArcthunder



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Mass Effect 2, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatArcthunder/pseuds/GreatArcthunder
Summary: Commander James Shepard is starring in these series of one shots
Relationships: Miranda Lawson/Male Shepard
Kudos: 3





	1. Just a kiss

"Do you have a minute Lawson, I'm bored." Came a voice as Shepard walked through her door

"Really James? Bother Garrus if your bored" Miranda said unamused. He moved to behind her desk and continued talking:

"Oh, so now we're on first name basis I see, Miranda _."_

"Just leave so I can finish my work in peace" she turned around to face him with a look of annoyance

"I don't think I will, I came here to talk so that's what's going to happen!" He replied smugly

"Really? Now you're acting like a child." She said sounding more agitated

"Must be because I never had a childhood" he shrugged off.

"Yeah neither did I, but I still don't act like you" she returned now in his face

"Yeah yeah, your just jealous because the Illusive Man likes me more than you now." He said and started smiling

"I'm not jealous!" She turned red

"You're just mad because I'm just about perfect and you're not" he moved closer.

"No one's perfect" she nearly whispered

"You are to me" he said under his breath, but he knew she heard it. So he pulled her close and kissed her. Her hands wrapped around his neck and his around her waist, he had no intention of letting go. The need for air mad him release her from his grip and they stood there breathless.

"Wh- what was that?" She said trying to regain her breath

" I do believe that is what they call a kiss, Webster's dictionary defines it as: (and I paraphrase) I touch with the lips as a sign of love, reverence or greeting." He stated.

"Any chance that was a greeting?" She joked quietly.

"No" he simply said

"Do you revere me?"

"Yes" he started "but that wasn't why we kissed" he continued

"But that means..." She started but never finished

"I think you know what this is and I think you want this" he said moving back to her.

"I think I do to. But what about our jobs! A Commanding officer can't date his second in command." She was now sitting on her bed

"Who said anything about dating?" He said smugly standing in front of the bed.

"Oh stop while you're ahead, you sound like a pig now." She said.

"I- well- that's not what I meant." He said as he ran his fingers through his very short red hair.

"I know, I can tell you care about me James, but I don't know if we could ever make it work." She said sounding hopeless

"No, no we can make this work!" He said hurriedly. " I care about you! We'll make this work!" He said more confidently.

" I want to at least try and work this out, see where it goes." She said calmly and smiled at him.

"See where it goes hm?" He said in a husky voice.

"Seriously, not now, you pig." She said getting back in her normal mood and her smile faded, and she walked back to her desk.

"Damn, have I ever told you that your smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Flattery gets you nowhere Commander." She teased as she sat down and began to get back to work

James stood and moved towards her desk and gave her a quick kiss and left only to return with two lunches and a grin on his face. "First date?"


	2. Illium's asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is back at it at Illium

"So Shep, what's today's schedule?" Asked a very perky Kasumi.

"I'm going to see Liara in a hour about some information on Samara." He stated.

"Then why are we here?" Complained Garrus.

"Because when you're Commander you get to have entourages." James joked.

"Really Shep? why did you actually bring us out here?" Kasumi asked as they passed the kiosks and terminals

"Well Kasumi I need you too-" Shepard started

"Holy crap Shepard? I thought you were dead."

James tried to ignore her but Garrus made it impossible. "Hey Shep isn't that the woman who was worked that case that you screwed up? You should go apologize!"

"Ah God damnit Garrus! When we get back to the ship you're dead!"

"Shepard? The news said you were dead, what happened? No, wait, probably classified. Forget I asked. You'd just have to lie." Gianna stated

_"I am so going to murder someone today, maybe Garrus for this conversation he got me in, he knows I hate seeing people from my past. It reminds me of all I've lost...."_

"I'm Gianna Parasini-" she continued

"Yes I know who you are, now what do you want?" He asked harshly.

"Well dying certainly didn't make you any happier..." She joked but stopped as soon as James gave her a glare. "Look I got to go but don't forget to drink your beer." She said as she got up and walked away.

 _"I'll only drink it because I'm- well damn- ah whatever I don't need a reason to drink I'm old enough."_ He smiled as he drank his beer, but it changed quickly as soon as he noticed a note.

"Hey James, you know I'm kinda thirsty myself." Garrus stated

"Get your own drink I'm not sharing!"

"I didn't think you wanted to, but I was hoping you were buying..."

"Hell no, what do I look like charity?!" He laughed

"Ooh what's that a love note? Our boy Shep has got a admirer!"

_"Oh shit! I'm supposed to get Miranda something! I almost forgot. Maybe some flowers, but I need to ditch the smartasses first."_

"Not an admirer but someone needs help." He said unamused as he stood up.

"Oh yes supershep to the rescue!" Kasumi joked.

"Shut it Kasumi." He joked and then continued "Get the asari to talk.... Seems easy, I better get paid!"

He walked over to her and started talking about merchandises. "Do you have anything **else**?" He asked

"Well there is this one thing" she started nervously, shifting her posture and playing with her hands "not publicly available yet-"

"That's because it's still in development on Noveria. And illegal for export, hello hermia!" Said Parasini as she walked over to the asari.

"Parasini! You set me up! And you!" She pointed at Shepard "you are a dirty lying bastard!"

"Yep, and I don't feel bad about it either." He stated as he look at Parasini. "Get the lying asari out if my face" he said and his eyes started to glow red, not mixing very well with his green irises. "Was that all?"

"Yeah, hermia will be very poor, very soon." Gianna stated way too happily as they walked back to the table "I love nailing asari" she said as she sat down "so ageless and superior-- then you get them, and they squeal like schoolgirls!" She laughed.

James stayed silent, for the fear of him talking would keep the conversation going longer than it would have to.

"Hey come on Shepard wasn't this at least a little fun?" She teased.

"Um I suppose, I don't know how to respond to that. I think I should get back to work." He said trying to end the conversation.

"Take care Shepard!" She said as she got up and left.

"Okay to Liara finally!" Shepard said relieved. He turned and walked up the small steps to Liara's office. He opens the door and she was in a conversation with a man

"Have you faced an Asari commando before? Few humans have." She threatened " pay me or I flat alive with my mind!" "Oh Shepard! Nyxeris hold my calls!" She moved closer and hugged him.

"Liara, we have talked about this before, I don't do hugs."

"Oh, yes, sorry it has been so long since I have seen you!" She said embarrassed.

"It's fine, you're a friend, but don't make a habit of it. So- um- flaying people with your mind?"

"Oh that! He'll pay. They always do. Ever since you stopped Saren people have wanted to be my friend."

"Hey congrats you're making friends, see it's not as bad as you think!" Garrus chimed in.

"Well, not be my enemy" Liara corrected.

"I need information on Samara, she's an Asari here." Shepard asked getting to the point.

"Yes, speak to tracking officer Dara." Liara informed

"Thanks Liara you are a time saver!" Shepard thanked her bad left the office. "Okay Kasumi go back to the ship and tell Miranda to meet me at the transportation hub in thirty minutes."

"Ooh did hear that right? You called her by her fist name! No Lawson or XO! What's going on hm?" Kasumi poked fun at him.

He look at her very unamused and answered jokingly: "Get your ass back to the ship before you are restricted to decaf only!"

"Sir, yes sir!" She mock saluted him.

"Well let's not keep officer Dara waiting" Shepard said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as always


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard runs into a colonist from Zhu's hope and becomes friends with a biotic God

Walking to the cabs James heard his name called.

"You're Shepard! I don't know if you remember me. I was a colonist at Zhu's-" the colonist started talking

"Yes I remember you, what do you need?" He cut her off.

"So many dead because you wouldn't save them!" She cried.

"I was being cautious, I was shot at many times, I have a scar where one of their shots penetrated my armor! So don't you dare accuse me if not saving them! They were beyond saving!" He yelled as his temper got the better of him. "Now I'm trying to be nice and help you with your problem so if you'll tell me how I can help, I will." He said calming down.

"We've had health problems from the thorian." She continued talking about their situation. " I've talked to the representative, but she won't listen. I think she has a problem with humans." She finished

"Seriously? Oh Lord I'll do this in five minutes or less!" He got all angry. "Garrus, Miranda? Stay here I'll deal with her." Both nodded there heads and waited for Shepard.

He walked up to the asari who started taking "I saw your conversation, human. You're here to complain-" 

"No I'm not here to complain, I'm here to talk about your hate against humans and the bullshit you keep telling that colonist over there, I came her for answers!" He growled at her.

"I suggest you leave. You're life is short enough don't waste the time you have bothering me."

"Why the hell are so prejudiced against aliens?!" He became angry.

"Where do I begin?" She began ranting about salarians, turians, krogans, and at last the humans "my people's deaths are on your hands!"

"Oh, now you see that sounds personal. Whose deaths are we talking about?"

"The mother of my daughters was killed on the quarian homeworld during the geth uprising." She started to cry. She turned to look out at the rest of Nos Astra and continued: "My daughters died on the citadel when the geth attacked" she choke through tears.

"Look I understand that you suffered, but why the hell are you making those colonists suffer. Why were just trying to live peacefully, they've suffered too. They lost families to the geth and the thorian. Quit adding to their anguish!" He yelled at her.

"Oh..." She collapsed crying "I'm... Sending an amended contract. No more tests. No fees. I'm done adding to the fried of the Galaxy!" She finished and left James standing at the kiosk.

He walked back to the colonist and was greeted by Garrus "You lied!" He exclaimed"

"Um I'm not following, what did I lie about?" James asked confused

"You said five minutes or less. I had Lawson time it." He grinned.

James stared at Miranda and said "okay what was my time?"

"Six minutes and fifty-three seconds." She stated with a grin and continued "so you did technically lie."

"Whatever you guys are assholes." He muttered. He turned to the colonist and told her of the deal he made with Erinya.

"Thank you so much Commander! I don't know what we would have done without you!"

They walked of to get a cab to get to the spaceport.

"I call driving!!!" Shepard yelled as he ran for the driver's seat. Then he felt being yanked back by a force.

"The hell you are! We've both been in the hammerhead with you and there is no way in hell we are letting you drive!" Miranda told him sternly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about! You're alive and fine last time I checked!" He pleaded with her.

"No, last time you drove the hammerhead I got a concussion, no way are you driving this!" She argued back at him

"Garrus? Gonna back me up?" He asked

"Sorry buddy, but we both agreed that you are banned from driving." Garrus told him "No don't even try to do those puppy dog eyes they don't work on men that aren't gay! Give 'em to Lawson, but I doubt she would fall for them!" Garrus defended

\----(Time skip)----

"Nice guns try not use them in my district" said the asari plainly.

"Fine. I'm looking for an Asari warrior named Samara, I need to recruit her and we'll be on our way." Shepard replied

"Justicars usually work alone, but are drawn to impossible causes." The detective stated.

"Well, we got that covered" Miranda chimed in.

"If you're getting her out of my district I'll get you the her asap."

"You know, you're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district." Shepard observed

"Her justicar code won't let me take her in, if I try she'll have to kill me, and I don't know about you but that's not my plan."

"You superiors are sending you to death with no good reason. You have a right to disobey." Shepard said feeling sorry for her.

"Let's remember that next Shepard sets us up against impossible odds." Miranda told Garrus. "Yeah, that's about twice a day you know." Garrus replied.

"Okay really guys?" Shepard said dryly.

"Can you please just get this justicar out of here!" The detective pleaded.

"She'll be gone before you know it, I'm very quick and efficient" Shepard said proudly

While his two companions rolled their eyes and shook there heads.

\----(Time skip)----

They walk through the door after taking out a few mercenaries. And a body flies past them almost hitting James.

"Those were my best troops" they heard one say

"Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone from here." The justicar said calmly. "Where did you send her?" She continued

"You think I will betray her? She would hurt me in ways you can't imagine." The lieutenant continued. As they kept talking the justicar offered one last chance for the information, before she killed the lieutenant in cold blood.

"That Merc was wounded and helpless. Do you kill anyone who won't help you?" James asked.

"If my cause is important enough, yes. Are you any different?" Samara asked

"I can't say that I am." He replied

"That is something we share. You are honest--that is another. How may I be of service to you."

"I'm putting together a team and I would like you to be on it" Shepard said.

"I am seeking a fugitive, I corners her here and they helped her escape. I need the name of the ship she left on before the trail goes cold." Samara asked

"I'll get the name of that ship and you can join me on my mission?" Shepard asked as the detective came in.

"Yes, the code will be satisfied."

\-----(Time skip)----

James walked through the door and saw a volus standing at the far end and decided to see what he doing in a base full of mercenaries. As he walked to him the volus ran straight into him and was knocked back. "He looks high as hell." Whispered James to his companions.

"I am a biotic God! I think things -- and they happen! Fear me lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!" He said flashing his biotics.

"Look, I don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and I won't shoot you!" Shepard warned

"You will regret those scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a....a great wind. A GREAT BIOTIC WIND!!!!" The volus roared loudly. "I am amazingly powerful!" He pointed at Miranda and yelled "Fear me!" To which she shrugged off.

Decided that they needed to move on James moved to end the conversation. "Good luck with... everything."

"Wait earth-clan you are just in time to witness my crowning achievement! The leader of the mercenaries in the next room, Wasea, I WILL TOSS HER LIKE A RAGDOLL!" He exclaimed

Miranda voiced her concerns about the volus compromising them on the battlefield, but he continued and let the volus be the god he thought he was, why? Well because it's him, who knows what goes on in James's mind.

"I will year her apart! My biotics are unstoppable!" The volus continued farther, not even deterred by Miranda's comment.

"Okay Cal, lead the way, we're right behind you! CHARGE!" 

Cal ran in and wreaked havoc on Wasea...... Well not really he unleashed his biotics and Wasea tossed him like a ragdoll. There was a tear shed for the biotic god for he will be greatly missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't state it last chapter but italics are Shep's thoughts. But I think I made it obvious.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I do not own mass effect or it's characters  
> Criticism is welcome, this is my first fic so enjoy  
> James Shepard is my second Shepard, my renegade boy.


End file.
